Odds And Ends

“Marriage”…sounds like a milestone in life, every step of which is a mystery unveiled. The very word arouses a fountain of emotions which is hard to understand and almost impossible to describe. Emotions, that sound so good to our ears and feels so good to our hearts. At times I feel all it takes to start afresh is a ‘decision’ , when one marries, he/ she makes a decision to stay together, forever. The next time you see them making another, but this time to nullify the former; yes you’ve got it right ‘a divorce‘ .But why is it that the very mention of the word divorce drops in a veil of gloom on all our supposedly happy faces? Is it the thought of being single for life or the fear of an encounter with limbo? Why is it that divorce has always been one of the negative aspects of life? Questions are numerous and my hunt for an answer is still on…

People say that deciding on divorce is one of the most difficult phase of life but an answer to,”why is it so difficult” has always been perplexing and undecided. Is the thought of a divorce and its repercussions so fearful…? If so, then why? Reasons for a divorce could be many. It could either be due to some misunderstanding or an over understanding of things; lack of time for each other or it could be due to infidelity on the part of one partner or may be both. Questioning a few people, I managed to come up with a few answers that was to some extend universal.

Being into a relationship for some time and suddenly getting detached from it, brings about a feeling of loneliness. This initial loneliness may also turn into a state where a feeling of being left out crops in. And how does the society with a capital ”S” not play its role? In fact its the society that plays the major role of making things worse.

Practically speaking divorce does not mean the end of a beautiful life. In a positive sense, its the beginning of an unplanned happy life which solely depends on individual mentality and an individual approach. If a couple plans for a divorce, no matter what the reason may be, and if they are happy doing it ,then it does not call for any issues. But things take a wrong turn when the decision is one sided.

But there is yet another question to be encountered …Is it so very difficult to cope up with divorce? In some cases it may be, but a little bit of self will and effort could really work wonders.

Coping up with life after a divorce could be made easier in the following ways:

* Talk to your nearest family members and tell them how you feel after this divorce. Open up to a person who is very close to you. Get your self relieved of the burden of the obvious guilt thats heavy on your mind. And the biggest of all, convince yourself that you have done nothing wrong, instead you have just taken a decision to make life a peaceful living.

* Stop discussing issues connected to your divorce or to your ex .It will make situations all the more difficult for you.

* Be patient with yourself and stop entering into conversations that would remind you of your past but once you are through with that difficult phase, be an active member in conversations related to marriage to make yourself stronger.

* Try spending time with your friends. Nothing heals the wound of divorce better than the company of a good and understanding friend.

* Start thinking of a career that would make you feel independent and more confident. Once you are independent enough to live your life on your own terms, all other things are sure to fall in place. In fact you shall bless the divorce that helped you to discover you life in a new form.

* Now that you are free, think upon the ways in which you could make your life a better living. All those things that would bring back your life to normal.

* Get it very clear into your mind that “you are complete with/without a man/woman in your life.

So with these tips to go your way there is very little space for any depression or any other kind of negative feeling. Life offers many chances,its we who’s got to make the right choice

Tags: Divorce, Featured, Lifestyle

This entry was posted on Monday, March 9th, 2009 at 9:56 am and is filed under Lifestyle. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.