March 2nd, 2010
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, Banta and his wife Preeto decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
“What seems to be the problem?”
Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage. Read more... (181 words, estimated 43 secs reading time)
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funny santa banta jokes, Passionate Kisses
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March 2nd, 2010
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. Read more... (138 words, estimated 33 secs reading time)
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funny jokes, The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD),…
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March 2nd, 2010
A United State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp.
“This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides, and takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. “I wish for an ice cold diet Coke right now!” He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. “I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside.” Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. Read more... (140 words, estimated 34 secs reading time)
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funny goverment jokes, Government Employee
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March 2nd, 2010
The last words of a chemist:
22. Something is wrong here…
23. Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
24. Trust me – I know what I am doing.
25. And now a cigarette…
Permanent link to this post (39 words, estimated 9 secs reading time)
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March 2nd, 2010
Top ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab
7. Mutter repeatedly, “Not again… not again… not again.”
6. When it’s very quiet, suddenly cry out, “My eyes!”
5. Deny the existence of chemicals.
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February 26th, 2010
A guy found an old lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie. The
genie said to make 3 wishes. So first he said, “I want to be
rich.” All of the sudden his house was filled with gold. Next he
said, “I want all the women I want.” He was surrounded by women.
Next he said, “I want to live forever!” The genie turns him into
the Energizer Bunny.
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February 26th, 2010
For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural
town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at
the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant
$1.50, he couldn’t help but comment, “The last time I came to the movies,
popcorn was only 15 cents.”
“Well, sir,” the attendant replied with a grin, “You’re really going to
enjoy yourself. We have sound now.”
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February 26th, 2010
One day, Hanson and the Spice Girls were all on an airplane, and
they get into a discussion.
Baby Spice stated “You know, I could toss a thousand dollars out
the window of this plane and make one person very happy.” Then,
the oldest Hanson brother said, “Well, I could toss ten one
hundred dollar bills out the plane and make ten people happy.”
Then Sporty Spice said, “Well, I could toss one hundred, ten
dollar bills out, and make one hundred people happy!” Then the
middle Hanson brother very proudly said, “Well, I could toss one
thousand, one dollar bills out the window and make one thousand
people happy!” Read more... (141 words, estimated 34 secs reading time)
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February 26th, 2010
Q: How do you know if there is a percussionist at the door?
A: The knocking gets slower.
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February 26th, 2010
Orchestral trombonists count so much rest and play so many repeated figures that the sheep story also works.
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