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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women :
(and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
(I don’t want to do my dad.)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
(You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing.)
A father and son are driving on a European road.
Son to father: “Dad, is a Ferrari a red car with a small horse?”
Father: “That’s right, but why do you ask?”
Son:
“I think there’s one trying to pass us on the right…”
In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
So she went to the Wailing Wall to check it out, and there he was. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
“I’m Rebecca Smith from Reuters. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
” There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”
Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
01. I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I’m perfect.
02. I’ve got to sit down and work out where I stand.
03. If I save time, when do I get it back?
04. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
05. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
06. Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
07. The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
08. As I said before, I never repeat myself.
09. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
Biggest Stickup Men
My brother’s one of the biggest stickup men in town.
Gosh is he really?
Yes, he’s a six-foot-six billposter.
Real Pain Brother
Dan: My little brother is a real pain.
Nan: Things could be worse.
Dan: How?
Nan: He could be twins !
Do you know how we can get Osama bin Laden? Lace a bunch of Watchtower magazines with anthrax and send the Jehovah Witnesses in after him. Those people can find anybody!
If a barber makes a mistake, It’s a new style…
If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident..
If a doctor makes a mistake, It’s an operation..
If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture…
If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation…
If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law…
If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention…
If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion…
If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory…
Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
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| By N2H | |||||